Caution: Not Child Resistant (Poem)

It occurs to me,
as I shove
two blue
estrogen pills
in my vagina,
a blank stare from the cat
 into the bathroom
because this happens often
that this is fertility for us.

This is baby making.

This science of hot flashes,
emotions propped up by hormones,
heart palpitations,
anger,
mood swings,
depression,
swollen ankles,
dietary restrictions,
financial obligation in the tens
of thousands,
this
is our version of family
planning.

It occurs to me
this isn’t fair
but it’s

ok.

Knowing my awkward self,
how else would getting pregnant
look like?

My clumsy feet
trip on a paper towel.

My flirtatious winks
more like I have dirt
in my eye
that I’m trying to
flush out.

How else would this happen?

This is how it happens.

Twice a day
in the morning and evening
the placement of two pills
as I fumble to find the exact spot
in my vagina.

This is how a family
starts.