Pittsburgh winters, in and of themselves, are a real jerk. Endless days of overcast clouds, cold winds that slap you in the face as you walk to work, and barely any snow to pretty things up are common ingredients for the months of November through March. Couple a string of grey days together, with a… Continue reading Progesterone? Oh. Hell. No
Tag: Infertility
Into a New Year
The hardest part about writing this blog, for me, has been letting people I know I’m sad. It’s not so much that you know that I’m sad, it’s just this nagging feeling that I’m somehow being ungrateful by being frustrated, angry, and upset that it’s been 5 ½ years since we decided to start a… Continue reading Into a New Year
Irony? It’s Not Lost on Me
Recently, at one of the many 6:30 a.m. appointments at my fertility clinic, the irony of where the office is situated, was not lost on me. The fertility clinic is located inside a hospital for women. Makes sense, right? A place where women of all ages can come for wellness visits, fertility treatments, women’s health,… Continue reading Irony? It’s Not Lost on Me
Back to Back to Back to Back…
We’re sad. We’re tired. We don’t know what is next. I feel silly and don’t know how to gather up buckets of hope anymore. I’ve been avoiding writing about anything, really. Starting a family is constantly on my mind, and when it isn’t, some random person will innocently ask, “Do you have any kids?” The… Continue reading Back to Back to Back to Back…
A Camera in my Uterus? Why, Thank You!
It’s Monday night, I am sitting on my couch as my husband talks on the phone to a good friend. Actually, I am sitting here with a Zodiac inspired face mask (Thanks, Meghan and Abbie!), in my pajamas, and thinking about the update we got today from the doctor. The past three months have been… Continue reading A Camera in my Uterus? Why, Thank You!
Caution: Not Child Resistant (Poem)
It occurs to me,as I shovetwo blueestrogen pillsin my vagina, a blank stare from the cat into the bathroom because this happens oftenthat this is fertility for us. This is baby making. This science of hot flashes,emotions propped up by hormones,heart palpitations,anger,mood swings,depression,swollen ankles,dietary restrictions,financial obligation in the tensof thousands, thisis our version of familyplanning.… Continue reading Caution: Not Child Resistant (Poem)
Dim Sum in New York City (Poem)
Dim Sum in New York City Egg custard buns,pushed around on steelDim Sum cartslike yellow centered wombs. The soft dough jiggles,slides against the raw crust,until it almost breaks,as the cart turns cornersaround the dining room. In front of me,a small plate with a pale white orb,soft and sticky. It moves like a blob of fat… Continue reading Dim Sum in New York City (Poem)
Signs You’re Going Through IVF (Updated)
Your bookshelf that once held poetry anthologies, novels, and non-fiction essays, are now consumed by books about fertility diets, infertility memoirs, and how to navigate IVF while staying somewhat sane. Music. You are an emotional mess some days, so you avoid any song by J.S. Ondara, Bob Seger, Brandi Carlile, Lord Huron, The Commonheart, First… Continue reading Signs You’re Going Through IVF (Updated)
Actually, Robert Frost, I Prefer the Well Traveled Road
The nurse called Sunday afternoon to give us results from the tests earlier in the morning. “Unfortunately, your uterine lining is still too thin, and the doctor would like to cancel the cycle for this month. I’m so, so sorry.” January 19. The date we were supposed to transfer our embryo, would now be just… Continue reading Actually, Robert Frost, I Prefer the Well Traveled Road
January 19, 2022
I write every appointment, injection, test, and procedure on my calendar, without a second thought. Today, after over a month of knowing the date of our embryo transfer, I still can’t seem to write the words down. Instead, the date swirls in my thoughts, almost like a far off finale. Something in the near future.… Continue reading January 19, 2022
Stefanie Wielkopolan 