Loss of Production
I.
The eggs are there,
along with cysts,
a thin uterine lining,
fibroids and scar tissue.
I do not know how this will end.
II.
I’ve been saying fuck a lot.
When the blood starts,
when someone,
anyone younger than me,
announces an unplanned pregnancy.
A pregnancy absent of forms,
thousands of dollars invested
in conception, blood work, tests, drugs
and therapy.
I say fuck
when the doctor orders transvaginal ultrasounds,
sonohysterograms,
and an MRI.
When the insurance company
offers no coverage,
because, really,
I should be able to get pregnant on my own,
just like everybody else.
III.
Our new vocabulary words:
geriatric pregnancy,
follicle stimulating hormone,
egg reserve (limited),
trigger shot,
ovulation induction,
embryo adoption,
genetic testing,
mutation,
mosaic.
These are the words,
I never asked to learn,
but now say and spell
without trouble.
IV.
I do not know,
how this will end.
Stefanie Wielkopolan 